I often write about black hole dresses. Let me explain exactly what I mean: A black hole dress is a wedding dress that takes far more time to complete the work on it than anticipated. It takes you by surprise. You had no idea when you accepted the dress, that it would be so time consuming.
There are a few reasons for the extra time involved.
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The basic construction of the dress is funky. This is one of those unfriendly surprises that happens when you look inside the dress to start working on it. Perhaps the bodice is completely enclosed, or the lining hem is on cheap knit. Or the sleeve is attached in a strange way. Who knows what you will discover when you peek inside. The materials look innocent enough, but as you start working with them, they fray, or stretch, or run, or disintegrate!
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The bride is indecisive and changes her mind about the look she wants.
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The bride or mother (often the mother) is hyper picky and nitpicks everything. They overthink everything. So annoying, but it happens. The dress was fine when they bought it, but now they find all kinds of things they want done differently. At each fitting they notice new things that they didn’t see or things that didn’t bother them at the last fitting. It is relentless and emotionally exhausting. The hole gets very big and very black. Sigh….. I know you have all been there. It takes emotional strength to stay professional and be clear that each new item will cost this much money. Sometimes, that shuts down the nitpick, sometimes it doesn’t.
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Sometimes, we are personally in a funk, and keep messing up and unpicking and re-doing a dress. It happens. Be sure to give yourself grace and remember that this builds character. Perhaps you need to step away from the dress for a while if you have that luxury of time.
I’m sure you all can relate to these situations. We all have bumped into these dresses at one time or another. So that’s what I mean when I say I’m in a black hole.
Have a great day.
Dee Dee
